The ‘They’re not the way they were’ Tour

Even though I’ve been now in South Africa since the end of November, there is still much of Cape Town I have not seen. To be fair, I did spend a considerable amount of time in Onrus and Hermanus for camp and afterwards went straight to Plett for ten days, however my Granny was rather unimpressed with it all. Therefore she rallied her ‘young friend’ Myles to take me on the ‘Orientation Tour’. Miles is a contemporary of my Aunty Lol and has been working for and with my Granny for years now. They get on like a house on fire. So we set out to see the sites. We started out at 8:30 am from my Gran’s house in Seapoint, on the Atlantic Seaboard and made our way to the Indian through False Bay where the two oceans mingle. First we drove past Muizenberg beach which back in the day was the absolute place to be. Myles said he used to take the train there all the way from town at age 14 with his surfboard, because it was just that safe. Nowadays he reckons you’d get mugged within an inch of your life; and so began the ‘they’re not the way they were’ tour. Things have changed a lot in South Africa since apartheid ended fourteen years ago, and like anyone else whose been witness to it, Gran and Myles have a lot to say about it. To begin with the current governing party’s presidential candidate is facing fraud charges. Then there’s the recent Eskom energy crisis has everyone here hopping. For it seems the Government did not pay heed years ago when it was warned that the energy systems needed to be expanded. Therefore today’s system is inadequate and there are massive daily power cuts in an attempt to load shed the overwhelming energy demands. The cuts are so heavy that the mines which contribute so heavily to this country’s GDP, can only use enough energy to safely maintain the mines. Therefore nothing is being extracted and no gold melted. People are also missing out on wages and the ripple effects of this disaster are untold.

Next we went to Kalk Bay for breakfast. We went to this little hole in the wall place called the Olympia Café that serves the most incredible smoked salmon omlette croissant. Their adjacent bakery is so divine that it’s just indecent. We popped into Fishoek beach next and then past Misty Cliffs to Scarborough. All the way driving along a panorama of stunning azure ocean views and pro kite surfers. Then we went to Scarforth and Boulder’s, which is home to the South African penguins. According to Gran this has been vastly commercialized. Afterwards we went to Simon’s Town for a lunch of fresh fish at Salty Dog. I had the Snoek. It was delicious. Then I bought a beautiful copper painting and we drove back to town over Chapman’s Peak, which has been slightly marred by unsightly and debatably efficient boulder-catchers. But which is still home to rip-tide seeking surfers. Next we past Haut bay, which to me is one of the most beautiful beaches. However Myles tells me that one can’t swim there as the disease-ridden runoff from squatter camps is deposited in those waters. Finally we drove through Camps Bay. Which in my opinion is like the Kits beach of Cape Town. You know, where people go to see and be seen. There Granny was shocked by the fact that her friend’s ex-next door had managed to get permits passed which enabled them to not only partially block her drive-way, but also made completely obsolete the stunning ocean views of the house directly behind it.

After expressing such opinions one might be misguided to think that my Granny and Myles do not actually like Cape Town much at all. But then perhaps you might have missed out on just how stunning the whole day’s adventure was. And how neither my Gran or Myles, both whom have traveled the whole world over, would rather live anywhere else. This is the fascinating paradox of this country, for it definitely has it problems and it’s future remains unpredictable. Yet it is one of the most beautiful places that I have ever been and a whole lot of people feel precisely the same.


Myles and Gran


just stunning!


penguins!